Camaraderie important for veterans on hospice

Normally, it’s welcome news when a Willamette Valley Hospice patient shows signs of recovery and can be discharged. Not necessarily in the case of a retired Air Force colonel, who had developed a special bond with volunteer Dick Mallery.

by Arnaldo Rodgers

“Every time he was going to be discharged the family was so upset, and not because he was going to lose a nurse or a social worker or a doctor,” volunteer coordinator Jenny Johnson said. “They were so concerned about losing Dick. It just goes to show the connection that these men have.”

Mallery is one of 10 volunteers in Willamette Valley Hospice’s veterans program, which was launched three years ago. It pairs volunteers who have served in the military with veteran patients, fostering trust and, at the end of life, providing the camaraderie of shared experiences.

Willamette Valley Hospice honors its veteran patients with pinning ceremonies, presenting each with a pin for the person’s branch of service, a plaque and a quilt. The quilts are donated by Center 50+, Mid Valley Quilt Guild and Alexia’s Cozy Covers.

Five pinning ceremonies were held this past week in conjunction with Veterans Day.

“It’s the most powerful program to be a part of,” Johnson said. “When they find out they are both veterans, there’s this instant connection and an instant understanding.”

Mallery had that with the Air Force colonel. He continued to visit the man after he was discharged.

“I went in as a friend, not a hospice volunteer,” said Mallery, who served in the Army during the Vietnam War.

The other nine volunteers in the program have made similar connections.

Roger Neufeld remembers a 104-year-old Army veteran who was proud of his service and enjoyed talking about it. Neufeld did some research on the unit the man served in and found a book written by one of the captains.

“It was exciting to be able to get it to him, and he was excited,” Roger said. “We looked at some of the pictures, I showed him the roster with his name, and he remembered some of the names.”

For another patient, who complained about the food at his assisted living facility, Neufeld picked up lunch once a week, including fried chicken and tacos.

“It was just kind of thing so easy to do and it made his day and gave something to look forward to,” said Neufeld, an Army veteran who served in Vietnam. “I hope that added to his quality of life.”

Neil Sherwood, who served during the Korean War, helped one patient retrieve lost military records. The patient’s daughter was then able to request medals that her father earned.

Volunteers are trained to meet the unique needs of a veteran on hospice, including repressed trauma and guilt that might surface at the end of life.

“The biggest thing I think we provide is just another outlet for our patient,” Neufeld said. “My experience has been that they have been willing to talk to me about some of their military experience that maybe they haven’t shared with the family.”

Mallery started volunteering for Willamette Valley Hospice before there was a veterans program. He was inspired by the loving care his late wife received when she was a patient.

“It was part of the healing process for myself, and I’m never ashamed to tell people,” Mallery said. “It’s such a blessing to see the reaction when you go back a second and a third time, and you develop relationships. The downside about end of life is that you lose real important friends.”